Astronomy Buff

Astronomer Productivity Plummets with Release of New Harry Potter Book

by Tony on July 21st, 2007

Tony Darnell, senior cosmologist at AstronomyBuff.com, pictured above in his ‘jammies’ during an all-night marathon reading of the latest Harry Potter book. “There’s no way those goddamned string theorists are going to find out who dies before me.”

In what can only be described as a revolt, astronomers from around the world refuse to discover anything new about the universe until they finish the latest in the series, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

“All of my colleagues are reading it.”, says Tony Darnell, chief cosmologist at AstronomyBuff.com, the premier astronomy weblog read by millions of people each day and acknowledged as the world leader in astronomy news and information by anyone with half a brain.

“I can’t stand to be left out of something, so when everyone else does it, I do it too. All of my colleagues feel the same way. Right now, the universe can wait, it’s been here for over 14 billion years, a couple of days is in the noise for chrissake. Now please go away.” , Darnell stated in between turning pages.

When asked about what this would mean to the progress of knowledge about our universe, looking extremely perturbed and as if he would hit this interviewer at any moment said, “Can’t you see I’m trying to read? Don’t make me come over there goddamit.”

Is the book any good? “Look, you don’t get it do you?”, Darnell asked exasperatedly. “That’s not the point, the point is everyone else is reading it and that means I have to as well if I want to hang out with all the cool cosmologists. I can’t stand the idea of having to sit at the planetary astronomer’s table at lunch. Christ, I’d rather stick a fork in my neck.”, he said noting that planetary astronomers never read anything unless it pops up or has lots of pictures from a rover in it.

It appears Darnell is not alone. Astronomers from around the world are engrossed in the book and are eagerly reading to find out who dies and when in this latest sequel to the Harry Potter phenomenon.

Estimates of the loss to the world’s economy are placed at, ” Well… Nothing because astronomers don’t contribute to the world economy. At all. In fact, they are usually considered a drain on our resources, so this ‘revolt’ is helping the economy.”, this according to head economist L. Bean Counter at the World Economic Institute.

Let’s just hope there isn’t a comet heading for Earth right now….

Technorati Tags: cosmology, harry potter and the deathly hallows

Share This

Related Stories

The Latest AAS Meeting, So What?
Human Skin Book Binding and Flammarion
The Learn’d Astronomer
How Many Monkeys Does it Take to Write the Bible?
The Flammarion Woodcut

POSTED IN: skewed perspective